Feeling like something isn't quite right, but don't have specific examples to blame it on, just overall annoyed.
Zane even noticed this, probably because I have been treating him with resentment, ya know, because when I feel off, it must be his fault, right?!
I don't know how many times I have heard that my husband can't fulfill me, only my savior can. BUT, it wasn't until I heard it at just the right moment [ last night ] that it truly had time to sink in. It was in the midst of my discomfort, that I realized my discomfort lied within me, and not my husband.
I was uncomfortable, because I had not taken the time to put God first. I had fallen into a routine of expecting my husband to fulfill every need, feeling, want, desire that i felt. I had put a task on him that no human being could ever accomplish, or should accomplish. So when he falls short of unspoken, unrealistic, superhuman powers, I resent him. Why isn't he meeting my needs?
It's simple- because they aren't needs that he can meet.
Yes, my husband is amazing & I am so grateful for the role that he plays in my life. That role as a companion. He is my life partner, but not my soul provider.
Once this clicked in my head, got my focus off of myself & my husband not meeting my needs- and put that focus into loving Jesus, it all fell into place. I am thankful for God's grace, his guidance, and his whispers that allow us to realize we are wrong. I am also thankful for a husband who I can openly apologize too, when I realize I have been wrong.
Love is sweet, but not because it's easy. Love makes you a better person & I am definitely better because of it.