I am an anxious person by nature. Just ask my husband. I get extremely excited, and for the most part anxious over just about anything. Worried is mixed in there too. This past month has been no different. More specifically, this past week.
My mom and I have always dreamed and about opening up some kind of fun shop, and have always played with the idea of fixing up furniture & flea market treasures. These thoughts have been intensified over the past few weeks. My head is constantly spinning, and my heart beats out of my chest with anxiousness to actually DO something!
And then, today, my heart sank as I found a link to a local business owner who is pursuing what I want to do. Again, my heart beats out of my chest. When will it be my turn. Will I ever get to do this for real?! Could I still do what I dream of if someone else is beat me too it?!
Heart beats faster.
-Insert God moment -
Zane was playing the drums, which surprised me since lately he's been playing guitar. When I first met Zane, he was playing the drums :)
As I was observing him, I was thinking about how much I loved that he was musical, and athletic, and funny.
God reminded me that as I was younger, with no relationship in sight, these were characteristics I desired. He reminded me that Zane has all of these characteristics and much more. God granted me the desires of my heart with Zane, just when I thought there was no man out there for me. Funny thought to think when your 18 and just out of high school!! Out of the blue, Zane showed up. GOD showed up. God has blessed me with an abundantly fulfilling marriage, one I could never of fathomed myself.
God immediately used these thoughts to tell me that if he was faithful in that aspect of my life, why wouldn't he be faithful in this one. With Zane, Gods timing was perfect, his blessing was abundant, and he uses my marriage more than I could imagine.
Bringing it back to 2008, our first summer together
God will do the same thing with the new desires he has placed on my heart. God created me with these passions and creativity, and I know I will get to put those to good use. When the time is right, God will bring along the perfect opportunity, and I know he will use that for his glory.
At once I felt at peace. I was no longer anxious, I can't even imagine how God's plan for my future looks like. If I don't lay these desires at his feet, my labor will mean nothing. I trust in God and have peace that he will indeed grant me the desires of my heart. 'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus.